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Dear parents, results are out and for some, it will serve as a wake-up call for what is left of the year. This can be a stressful time, for students and parents alike. Difficult conversations and actions might be needed to course-correct.
Below is a game-plan to help.
1. Stay calm and be kind yet firm
The first viewing of a school report can be an emotionally charged one. If you feel you might say something hurtful to your child or that you might regret, take time to reflect on the performance first, and engage in discussion once you have settled.
Remember that your child is doing the best they can, and exams and academics can be a source of stress and anxiety. Compounding this only makes future exams more stressful.
2. Do a root cause analysis
Poor performance is often a symptom of underlying root causes. Now is the time to explore and delve into this.
Do the following to get further insight:
Schedule time to discuss with the subject teacher, so you can get insight into where things may be going wrong and to sync up on ways forward
If tutors or coaches are involved, engage with them to get further insight
Understand if there were any major events at school, home or in life that could have impacted performance
Understand the child’s perception around exams as, very often, their perception can massively influence their performance
3. Key questions to ask, and what to do.
Is my child mentally and emotionally mature enough to manage time, plan, study, and schedule effectively?
What to do:
If your child is struggling with this, work with them and teach them how to schedule and plan. If something is out of your area of expertise, get them to enroll in a course on time management and study techniques, or have them work with a tutor / coach to help them to implement one.
Does my child suffer from exam stress or anxiety, and if yes, do they have mechanisms to effectively deal with it?
What to do:
Student stress & anxiety is becoming more prevalent. If there they have no coping mechanisms at present, there are many interventions; however, one that stands out is mindfulness techniques.
These techniques are effective, backed by neuroscience, and give students a sense of independence in that they will have tools to effectively manage their mental and emotional state. These techniques can also be used for the rest of their lives.
Resources can be found here:
What is the role that digital devices are playing in my child’s study time and exam prep time? What impact do they have?
What to do:
A digital device can be both powerful tool, but, if not effectively managed, a focus killer and time eater.
Children and young teens are nowhere near equipped to effectively manage their screen times, and, if you think about it, neither are many adults!
Install a screen tracker on your child’s phone to get a sense of their usage. An article with some options can be found here for parental control apps and here for screen time control apps
Agree on the amount of time per day and times per day that a mobile device can be used with your child.
Have a look at this YouTube video by Simon Sinek on the effect of mobile phones on children, teens, and young adults. This video was quite a wake-up to the potentially damaging effects of leaving a child to their own devices, literally.
Have a heart-to-heart with your child and ask them how they feel they need to improve further.
Very often, children of today struggle to ask for help. This means that we must seek to offer it, particularly in a way that gives them a sense of psychological safety and support.
Has my child set academic goals for the term, and do they have an underlying process to achieve them?
What to do:
In the book Atomic Habits, James Clear speaks about the importance of a process supporting the goal. Without a clearly defined process the odds of achieving a goal reduce dramatically
Sit down and help to formulate the goals, in a SMART way, and define the processes needed.
If you are not sure how to do this, get help from tutors, teachers or coaches who know how to do this
Closing thoughts
Our children are unique, diverse individuals and some can work independently, while others cannot. As parents, if we can recognise this, seek to understand them as individuals, and tailor our approach, the benefits can be profound. Adopt the Japanese philosophy of Kaizen, a continuous and never-ending process of improvement in terms of helping your child become the best they can be. And most importantly, have faith that it will all come together. Easy as Pi offers free holistic assessments, via online platforms to help parents address academic related challenges. Reach out to us to help on the learning journey.
About the author
Udersh S. Mahesh is an education entrepreneur, tutor, coach, yoga instructor, mindfulness facilitator and engineer.
He is the founder of Easy As Pi Learning Services.
In 2016, he left his corporate existence to devote his life to a vision to contribute to creating a world of empowered individuals with a deep sense of purpose that is aligned to their highest values.
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